I lost my fate

There's time that I hold so greatly beside what I believe. 

However every human have their time to choose what they really believe n' decide where they gonna move on n' that's happen to me when I put on the line everything that I had to get what they want.

For many years darkness has come to me n' drown me to place where the light can't reach n' couple month ago I manage to see the light once again in my life but when I come closer to grasp the meaning of that light it seems that light is not the real light that I seek for all the time so it started to faded away n' leave me alone again in this darkness.

It seems the light of my life is started to overcast n' actually I will lose that light that give me a meaning to life on in happiness but everything that I think it's looks like never gonna happen n' there will be no hero that save me this time.

All this time ...

I just stand between the christ n' muslim

Praying to found something that called hope.

But it seems I just the people that bathed by sins 

Is not gonna be forgiven even I know the god is merciful.

I think I just keep walking in the shadow of hope.

Hope that not gonna come.

Hope that give me light.

The light that guide me to the right way.

Losing faith is more painful than losing something that you can obtained ...

I really need the answer but it's there's no one that hear it.

I think it's gonna be better that I move away from every people that I know to find the answer.